Monday, March 28, 2011
O2 : AN ENTITY CALLED PHIL
Here's A transcript of a "chat" I had with an Entity called Phil, who works for O2
Welcome to O2. Someone will be with you soon.
You're through to Phil.
Phil: Hi I'm Phil. How can I help?
frazer churchill: Hi Phil
frazer churchill: are you actually a person and not a clever replying program?
Phil: I'm human.
frazer churchill: good
frazer churchill: Im getting in touch to complain about the service I'm getting from o2
frazer churchill: I work in soho london
frazer churchill: and frequently I do not get my calls
Phil: I'm sorry to hear that. What exactly is your qurey?
frazer churchill: for instance on friday my wife called me 6 times. the phone did not ring and there was no indication she was trying to get in touch with me
frazer churchill: the 3 text messages she sent me at 7pm finally arrived 2 hours later after I'd got home
frazer churchill: It caused us both a huge amount of distress and I've been putting up with this service for years
frazer churchill: people frequently don't get my texts for hours
frazer churchill: and It's just not good ebough
frazer churchill: also the reception/coverage I get at my home is woeful
frazer churchill: frequently the phone just says no service
frazer churchill: or I get on or 2 bars and the call quality is atrocious
Phil: I'm sorry to hear that. Some time due to a virus issue you may face this problem. Let me check what the best I can do for you.
Phil: Thanks. Can I take the 4th and 5th character of your security answer?
frazer churchill: can you remind of the secirity question?
frazer churchill: I think it's ****
Phil: It's your mother's maiden name?
frazer churchill: there are only 4 letters in that, so it doesn't have a 5th
frazer churchill: it's ****
Phil: Perfect. Please give me a few minutes while I check this for you.
Phil: Thanks for waiting. I don't see any insurance on your account to claim for it. What you can do is you can get your phone checked at your nearest O2 store, they'll fix it for you. Shall I help you with the link to find one?
frazer churchill: There's nothing wrong with the phone.
frazer churchill: I just had th ehandset replaced a month ago
frazer churchill: and the problems are exactly th esame
frazer churchill: the problem lies with your network
frazer churchill: it is oversubscribed and cannot cope with the usage in my area
frazer churchill: The service is not good enough and I'm pretty sure you're in breach on contract
Phil: Thanks for this information, I'll check this for you, please wait.
frazer churchill: it caused me enormous problems
frazer churchill: Many other people in the same area as me on your network have exactly the same problem
frazer churchill: I want to know what you're going to do about it
frazer churchill: If you're not going to do anything I want to be released from my contract so I can join a network that works
Phil: I'm sorry to about that. I've taken this as a feedback and forward this to our concern team. Please give me a minute to check what the best I can do for you.
frazer churchill: It's also annoying that you're saying the problem is the handset
frazer churchill: when you know that isn't correct
Phil: Thanks for waiting. I'm sorry about that. Please give me a few more minute, I'm still checking your account.
frazer churchill: you'r enot a person at all are you. This is just a program and I'm wasting my time
Phil: I'm human, and checking the coverage in your area. Also if you want you can discuss this with our network services team on 0844 809 0202 from Monday to Friday 8am to 9pm, Saturday 8am to 8pm and Sunday 8am to 6pm. Calls to this number are charged at 5p per minute from a BT landline. If you dial 202 from your O2 Pay Monthly mobile it would be free.
Phil: Please give me a minute.
frazer churchill: you couldn't possibly have typed all of that in the time it took you!
frazer churchill: with full stops capitalisation and commas
Phil: These are our shortcut reply's of our teams number.
frazer churchill: how old are you
Phil: I'm sorry, I'm not authorised to discuss this.
frazer churchill: Im trying ascertain whether or not Im communicating with a human and not a computer and Im not convinced
frazer churchill: prove that you're human
frazer churchill: say something human
Phil: What you want to listen?
frazer churchill: whats your earliest memory?
Phil: I'm sorry I didn't get this. Please discuss about the network issue in your area.
frazer churchill: ha!
frazer churchill: you're a computer and this has been an enormous waste of my time.
frazer churchill: waht are you going to do to resolve my problem?
frazer churchill: I've asked you a number of questions and you've answered none of them
Phil: I'm forwarding the issue to our support team and they'll check this and resolve the issue at the earliest.
frazer churchill: AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!
Phil: I'm forwarding the issue to our support team and they'll check this and resolve the issue at the earliest.
Phil: Please have a talk with our Network services team on 0844 809 0202 from Monday to Friday 8am to 9pm, Saturday 8am to 8pm and Sunday 8am to 6pm. Calls to this number are charged at 5p per minute from a BT landline. If you dial 202 from your O2 Pay Monthly mobile it would be free. They'll help you better on this.
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